The Laundromat Ate My Under-Armor (Director's Extended Take)

Why is it that our most beloved clothing is always being consumed and hidden in the dark depths of the endless corners of the unending series of inherently simple steps in the drawn out process that is known as or sometimes referred to by a term that is known as “Laundry?” And I do intend for that to be a run-on sentence; completing the task of ‘laundry’ is just that – a series of steps that invariably takes forever and involves the loss of one of your most beloved pieces of clothing. But, more on that later.

I want to say congratulations to Dad! You won’t advertise this, but I want to congratulate you on your award from Conbraco! I am very proud, and want everyone to know this! Shout it from the rooftops! Everyone, tell all your friends! Send a memo to the local TV stations! Mark this day and mark it well! Congrats, Dad, I know you have earned it.

Also, congratulations to Carly! You made it to the North Carolina High School Diving State Championships, where I hear you did very well, making it to the Final Rounds! It had to be that Extra bit of Good Luck I wished you when I talked to you last. No, it was all because of the Dedication and Effort you put towards your Goal. (Grammar police, are ALL those capitalizations really necessary? I’m guilty, yes, but I’m calling it creative license!) I know that it must have been quite a rush to be diving and having the whole team cheering you on from the deck! I hope it was LOUD; you alone deserve it more than anyone that was standing on the sidelines watching. I am getting a rush of adrenaline just typing about this! Congrats again!

So, in order to appease those who are following the educational part of my journey across Europe, I will give a brief report about my classes:

We had our first pinup in studio on Thursday. We presented our findings from the initial ‘Analysis’ stages of our site as groups of three, with four teams total. It went off without a hitch, and now we have a good idea about the various qualities (both good and bad) that exist within our site. In the next few weeks, we will enter into the ‘Ideation’ stages and begin to formulate designed solutions to the horribly nasty and wretched site that is our project. It’s about to get cranked up in intensity – well, as much as it can when everyone completely understands the finer points of having a fun night on the town - but more on that later…

In the Czech Language class, we had our first “test” on Thursday (right after the morning pinup in studio). This test consisted of formulating brief sentences in Czech, the kind of sentences that make you think you are a pro at the language – sentences such as “John is a good student,” “I will have one coffee, please,” or “That beer is good.” We have ‘learned’ lots of basic verbs, adjectives, and common nouns as they relate to Prague. Now, knowing these basic little bits of grammar and sentences is great, until you try and use them at say, a restaurant, where the waiter or waitress will spit something back at you in Czech so quickly it will make your head spin and shoot you right back to reality. But anyways, we could ask her for help on all of it, and all she really cares about is that we are making a decent attempt to learn the language, which, I’m proud to say, we are.

I was planning on dropping the Bees and Beekeeping class, but after attending the first one, there is NO way that I would ever drop it. It’s actually really interesting to see that bees are really just like you and me (did you know that they can poop half their body weight? Anyone remember the book Everyone Poops? I sure do!). Last class (we have class once a week, on Tuesday) we watched a video from 1984 in which my professor got his face and upper body completely covered by live bees. Suffice it to say that he is heavily invested into the world of bees. ‘He knows his stuff.’ He brought in bread, butter, and honey from his personal collection for us to enjoy at the end of class, which was fantastic. But the best part of it all is that it will be probably fifty times easier than taking a natural sciences course at NC State way back in Raleigh.
For Czech Literature, we have had to answer silly little questions about small reading assignments, the required work has been relatively simple. The reading assignments are actually quite interesting to me; I am learning so many incredible things about the culture and dynamics of the Czech people. I am also about halfway done with Franz Kafka’s The Trial, a book that I think I will probably recommend you read, just as soon as I finish it. I will, however, recommend that you read The Unbearable Lightness of Being, by Milan Kundera. Great read; consider it ‘Oprah approved,’ or whatever trick she uses to make a book rise on the charts.

That’s really the only work we’ve had to be responsible for so far – it’s pretty funny to hear rumors of stress from our peers back home moaning and groaning about midterms. What midterms? Haha.

But school is the “yada yada yada” part of this adventure – the real fun starts when the sun goes down and we hit the town…

I now officially love Thursdays. With no class on Friday, it signals the start of the weekend. And what great weekends they have been (and will be!).

Thursday night, I ate my typical meal of late: tons of white rice, frozen stir-fry vegetables (from a humungous bag), and a portion of the five chicken breasts that I bought, cooked, and eventually stored in Tupperware for further meals. Add some salt, give it some soy sauce, and viola! A personal feast! This also acts as a great base for a night of heavy drinking, mind you.

After my feast, we began to hatch the plan for the evening. It included going back to the hotel to drink a couple of beers, heading to a bar, drinking a few beers, heading to more bars, drinking more beers, and then ending the night at a dance club, dancing the night away. There is a local saying that goes something like this: “During the night, Czechs must be loyal to one man, one woman, or one beer.” So, if you ever find yourself barhopping in Prague, a cardinal rule is that you must go only to bars sponsored by the same beer. This is simple enough. Bars/Restaurants are located (no joke) about every fifty yards on each side of every street in this city, with each having a big neon sign above the door with the logo of the beer they serve on tap. Finding similarly sponsored bars down the street is as easy as finding a Harris Teeter in South Charlotte (now that I think about it, it’s actually much easier than that!) The only problem with bar-hopping in the neighborhood districts (we wanted to find some ‘less touristy’ local places, perhaps) on a Thursday night is that Czech people probably have things to do on Fridays, like work! In Raleigh, which I will (wrongly) label for simplicity as a “college town,” the bars (who thrive off the student population) know that lots of students are free to go out on Thursday evenings, so Thursday is a big night for bars. But in Prague, this is not the case, which makes the hunt for bars open past midnight on a Thursday similar to the hunt for eggs and milk on a day with the chance of flurries in Charlotte.

But we found a place and drank some beer. Jordan and I decided that, to make up for the lost time we spent looking for a place, we would need to take Slivovice shots. Those babies treat you well, and I’ll leave it at that, haha.

After spending some time at the bar and getting good and warmed up for the dance floor, Anna, Lauren, Blakeley and I split from Jordan, Lindsey, and Brian (who were heading back to the hotel) in order to head to the dance bar. I have never really been to many ‘clubs’ in general (mainly because I only just turned twenty-one in November), but I really am taking a liking to them, especially when you go with the right crowd (as in, the crowd that knows how to have fun on the dance floor). So we danced for a good while, sweating out all our beer amidst the fog-smoke, neon lights, dancing fools, and booming bass, before calling it a night. And what another good night it was, finished off with a plan hatched by Lauren, Blakeley and myself on the 2:53am Late Night 51 Tram: we would go running and then eat French-Toast in the morning…

I have been running quite a bit recently, it’s just such a good way to view the city and just – go. I am definitely going to make the time to keep on running when I get back to Raleigh, it clears my mind and I just get to think about whatever I feel like thinking about. Lauren did a solo run, while Blakeley and I got running shortly thereafter. We ran to a large park situated on a high point in the city’s elevation, Riegrovy sady, and were rewarded with a fantastic view to the west: Old Town, The Vltava River, Lesser Town, Prague Castle, and Petrin Hill. I love running to vistas.

I had dreamed all night, and during the run, about French-Toast. I love that stuff. We got around to making it at 4:00. And hooboy, was it good. We even had the powdered sugar. Fellow French-Toast Aficionados will appreciate that touch. I have to credit Lauren for the flipping and Blakeley for the bread preparing; I just ate and paid my dollar and fifty cents.

I pooped around for a few hours before preparing (again) my stir-fry, rice, and chicken dish, in preparation for another night on the town. Our plan was to drink at the hotel, head to a local brewery we had discovered (in hopes that they had a bar), and then bar-hop. Unfortunately, the brewery closed at 11pm, so we had to move straight to bar-hopping, something none of us had any objection to. We kind of just walked around until we found a cozy little place with cheap beer, and that’s where Laura-Nell, Jessica, Caitlin, Eleanor, Lauren, Blakeley, Jeremy, and I began the night.

The hopping began when we left the first bar after a quick drink, but we quickly were short two people when Laura-Nell and Caitlin decided to call it quits and head to the hotel. So the five of us continued on and kept the quest for ‘that perfect bar’ alive. After rejecting eight or so potential places (within 3 blocks) to spend our night, we found a TINY little pub. It was no bigger than 15 feet wide and 30 feet deep, with cheap big beers (19CZK for .5L, roughly 85 or 90 cents). It was small, but the beer was cheap, so we decided it was worth a go. What a fantastic decision it turned out to be! We found a little table by the front window on the street, crowded around, and began to enjoy the great music selection from the DIGITAL jukebox and TV showing the song’s videos on the wall. Some great 80’s and 90’s music kept the beers a-flowing, and Jeremy and I soon decided that we needed to turn this little hole-in-the-wall to our own dance club. So we went to the jukebox and picked the number-one-in-my-book dance song ever – a little bit of BILLY JEAN. We followed this up with a little bit of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” which really got Lauren, Eleanor, Blakeley, and Jessica a-dancin, followed shortly by a little ditty called "Honkey Tonk Woman" from some band called the Rolling Stones. Nobody can turn down dancing to those tunes, and so we danced! It was so much fun, everyone and their momma was staring at us like we were idiots, ha, but we were having a great time! It was great when a local came up to the table after we had danced and attempted to join in on the spectacle that we had created. It was fun trying to communicate, between our Czech and his English. It only took two bars, but we had a fantastic night. What a great time, with even better people!

Woke up on Saturday (I missed breakfast for the second day in a row, AHHH) at 11 and got right to reading a huge chunk of The Trial. There was definitely a heavy amount of snow coming down outside all morning, so I made a resolution that after I read for a while I would go out and take some pictures of Prague with the fresh blanket of snow. I really enjoy doing things by myself sometimes, and this was one of those times. I went out on a walk, not intending to go for long, but, of course, this turned into a four hour tour of the southwestern part of the city. I got a few good pictures, but after a while it just kind of turned into a wondering around adventure for me, which I really enjoyed. I did some sketching inside of a huge glass mall I somehow wound up in, too. It was a great walk, followed closely by a quick lunch and a glorious nap back at the hotel.

I woke up around 7pm, just in time to head out with Doug, Tucker, Brian, Dave, Andrew, Jeremy, Jessica, and Caitlin to a Chinese restaurant (I hadn’t eaten out anywhere for lunch or dinner since the previous Saturday night, so I felt like I deserved a nice $8 meal). It was delicious, and quite ironic, too! I ordered chicken and rice and vegetables… sound familiar? Haha, too funny, I go out and spend $8 on a meal I’ve been making for dirt cheap in the studio all week. It was nice to go out and eat, though!

I didn’t particularly feel like going out Saturday night; I was tired from the walk and worn out from the previous two nights (I didn’t even order beer with dinner, first time on the whole trip!). The group was headed to a ridiculously huge dance club, so I wished them well, and off they went. I had a quiet night talking with the group that stayed in for the evening (Tucker, Doug, Gennie, and Laura-Nell) and topped it off with a nice bit of sketching before I went to bed. It was a good way to spend Saturday night after the crazy nights on Thursday and Friday.

Sunday morning, I read a good chunk of The Trial before heading off on another great run with Blakeley. We ran to the east of our hotel, through the largest and oldest cemetery I have ever seen (bigger even than the one in Raleigh), complete with Ivy growing over all the trees and tombstones. It was beautiful, I hope to go back and take some pictures. We ended up at some huge, four-story, all English, all American-style mall, complete with an IMAX movie theatre. I formulated a plan to go back and see the National Geographic: Monsters of the Ocean IMAX 3D movie in the near future, which I believe our whole group will soon be enjoying.

I decided to FINALLY do some laundry on Sunday afternoon. All of my clothes stunk quite horribly from almost four weeks of bars, running, and life in general. I decided today was the day for laundry after NONE of my clothes passed the stink-test after my shower (I’m sure that most of you are familiar with the stink test). All went well except for the fact that the Laundromat ate my Under-Armor pants. I have worn those things almost every day for the entire trip. That was a tough loss to handle. They are so warm and glorious! I hate the process of Laundry, it always eats my clothes! The Laundromat was really fantastic, though. I felt like I was back at Cesky Krumlov in the cozy little hostel living room on our first weekend. The Laundromat offered internet, coffee or tea for free, and had nice couches to sit on (I read more of The Trial, it’s really getting good!), which made my visit otherwise very enjoyable. I had initially planned on washing all of my clothes via shower and sink, but I think I’ll just head to the Laundromat, and hope it doesn’t eat any more of my stuff!

After getting back from the Laundromat and grieving over my lost Under-Armor pants, I headed to the studio to make (what else?) stir-fry vegetables, rice, and the last of my chopped up chicken breasts. It was another fantastic meal!

The best part of the weekend, though, was when I got back from the studio at around 10pm. I went to the bathroom, glanced at a dark object on the floor near the shower, and discovered my Under Armor pants! They were, in fact, not lost, but merely temporarly misplaced! I was very relieved...

So, even though my pants were found, I still don’t like the laundry. Sometimes it shrinks your clothes or turns them funny colors. It manages to leave curious markings on your clothes, and takes senseless hours from our lifetimes. There are even times when it snatches clothing right from your grasp, in front of your very eyes! It didn’t get me this time, but be warned:

Laundry is a bitch.

-Terry